My Worst Fall.

I was eleven.
Or maybe I was twelve.
I don't remember.
I had been training a horse who was hott off the race tracks.
Again.
I was twelve.
His name was Bear.
He was a beautiful bay thoroughbred.
It had been a full month of training when we went to our first schooling show.
Little did I know, it would also be our last.
Bear and I were quietly warming up for dressage.
He was not the only horse I was showing on that day and
I recall telling my friend Emma that "I just want to get through the show."
I didn't care if I won.
I knew I was showing Bear solely for his experience.
There happened to be a noisy truck and trailer barreling towards the warm-up arena.
I remember looking down at Bear beneath me, and I remember him taking a step backward.
And that's all I can remember...
Here's what I was told:
Bear was rearing.
I didn't have any control.
Then!
Bear lost his balance and started to tip backwards.
He "curled up into a ball" and fell straight back on top of me.
My mother saw Bear running back towards the barn with a fellow rider galloping after him. 
My mom said, "She's gonna get back on this horse!"
But the rider who ran back with the horse told her otherwise.
I can't imagine the fear my mother must have felt when she found me on the ground shaped like a pretzel and saying nonsensical words.
I was rushed to the hospital.
God was surely looking after me. 
I came home later that day, extremely sore, but nothing broken.
Not even a bruise.
The worst part was that the doctor said I couldn't ride for two weeks.
Longest two weeks of my life.

Bubble Boy

Yesterday, I got to the barn approximately 6:50 A.M. 

I was brushing off my horse when  I realized his leg was swollen.
"Gasp!"
was my first response.
Then I called my mother.
She asked if there were any cuts around.
I said yes, but it was much higher than where the swelling was.
She said that gravity makes that happen...
I walked him
and hosed his leg off for ten minutes.
The swelling didn't go down.
That night we gave him some antibiotics.
Swelling decreased a little.
Who knows what he did to get that cut on his leg?
You know, there comes a time in every rider's life
when she is tempted to tape her horse up in bubble wrap.
Also known as....
no turnout
supplements galore
blanket frenzies
clean stall freaks
retard guards
mineral blocks
hay hangers
futile toys
no dandruff
no sun-bleaching
no frolicking
no fun
ever.
Sound familiar?
Now, I am not suggesting that if any of the above are performed,
then your horse is a bubble boy...
but I am suggesting that if you do several of the above,
then you most likely have a bubble boy on your hands.
Let a horse be a horse, people!
Even if that means they get hurt every once in a while.
This doesn't mean I don't love my horse.
My horse will be fine in a few days.
So you can keep your bubble wrap.
I don't need it.

Almost died... again.

Never underestimate the power of a pony.
I've trained quite a few ponies...
None as ruthless and stubborn as this one.
He's pretty is as pretty does, as my mother says.
The other day we were outback jumping alone
when he decides to take off running.
(This happens often... no big deal)
My instructor always tells me, "When he takes off
You need to run him until he can't run anymore."
So I do.
Only it takes like... forever!
On this particular occasion we happened to take an unexpected tight turn,
galloping on a patch of slippery hay.
This is not good.
The pony slips.
He scrambles hastily beneath me, trying to regain his footing.
He does this for literally... ten seconds.
Which seems like forever when you're imagining this is your death!
I watching this below me (without a helmet on), fatalistically thinking, "I'm gonna die."
I am balancing over this pony while his nose is on the ground,
my feet are practically touching the ground,
and he is still scrambling to stand.
He stops.
On all fours.
Blowing.
I'm breathing pretty hard too.
We both stand shocked.
I look down at him and yell, "YOU JUST SAVED MY LIFE!!!!"
....."AND ALMOST KILLED ME AT THE SAME TIME!!"
Next time I ride him, I'm wearing my helmet.

High Expectations.

Yesterday, I had a bad ride.
Every once and a while,
when I am stressed and have other things on my mind,
when I have other things to do,
when I am pressured by tasks I need to get done,
I have a really bad ride.
I'm unfocused.
I'm frustrated.
Tense.
Sometimes these rides are so horrible and horrendous
that I think in my head that I should sell my horse and quit riding forever.
I know, I'm such a drama queen.
Only lately have I noticed that I have that mindset in other areas of my life.
Quitter mindset.
If something is not perfect, or how I expected it to be, or easy,
then I think I should throw it out of my life completely.
Which is completely wrong!
I love my horse!
I never would want to sell my horse...
(even though I could get thousands of dollars for him...)
Never!
And one bad day throws it all out the window?
No.
Tomorrow I will have a great ride
because it's my fault we had a bad ride to begin with.
I cannot expect my horse to be perfect everyday
(epecially in the case of not riding him three days prior!).
I cannot expect myself to ride perfectly and completely focused everyday.
I cannot expect anything to be perfect.
Especially  in relationships....
With humans who walk on two feet...
Or with animals that walk on four.

Briar Fox Farms

This past weekend my horse and I competed in our first preliminary event.
We had our usual sub par performance in dressage...
Stadium proved to be very smooth and pleasant.
We almost knocked down 5A
and again almost hit the second obstacle in the triple combination.
But we came out with a clean round... and 3 stinking time faults.
"What the..."
Were my thoughts exactly.
Warming up for cross-country, two riders ahead of me came walking back without finishing the course.
Sort of not a good sign....
I told my mother, who is also my trainer, that I should probably bring a whip.
I'm so glad I did because it saved my butt over three fences.
I used it for the bank-down, the water complex, and the trakehner below.
My trainer gave me the courage I needed with the words,
"You're ready for this.  You have schooled harder jumps than these.  You can do this."
We were the only ones who made it through the cross-country course without any jumping faults.
We had 7.2 time faults.
My AMAZING horse....
We won first place.